Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize