I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
