can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My boob is missing a layer of skin
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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