Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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