he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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