Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
