I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
