you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
