He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize