I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
