I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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