its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
