Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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