I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize