My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
