you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
