ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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