just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
