Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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