im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
