Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize