There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The beer is more important than you right now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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