i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
