So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
