you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
