Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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