What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
