I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
