if you like me you must not know who I am
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I could fuck to npr.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
