NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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