I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize