Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
