Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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