dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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