Non-Jews are for practice
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
