They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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