i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
