I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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