Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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