Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
