I will die if light touches me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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