I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
