Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
