nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize