Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
