everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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