foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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