went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
