So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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