my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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