we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
