Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
