is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
