I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
