Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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