Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
