if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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