but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
