making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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