hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
