Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
