it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
