these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
