So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
a search helicopter?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
