the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize