this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
