If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
