he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
