i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
