So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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