Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is the high leading the old right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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