gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
