I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
