It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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