Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
look no pants
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
